Hope and Faith

Published July 26, 2015 by Tammy

Hope and Faith
Two Sisters.
One Lie
One Truth.

Hope for more. Hope for less. Hope for change.
Hope for better. Keep hope alive. Hope
The sexy, popular lie.

Hope is the spoiled, martyred whore of nothing for sure. Empty promises and teases of maybe someday.
Her needs are fear and insecurity. She demands attention through deceitful seeds of doubt.

Hope keeps a tidy house of limbo built of uncertainty, powered by the vapor of tomorrow.
Her door always drawn keeping any chance of dawn at bay

Hope hijacks your prayers, your dreams, wants, and needs.
She invites you to lean on her while she shifts in the sands of perpetual waiting.

Hope loves you. You complete her and hold her in high regard.
She adores the songs, poems and greeting card wisdom bestowed upon her.

.
Faith in choices. Faith in yourself. Faith in others.
Faith in the now. Faith in your future. Faith
The sweet, simple truth.

Faith is the confident mistress of absolutely! Why not? Every moment is your someday.
She needs only your trust. Fair exchange is her breath. Knowing is her pulse.

Faith opens her door every day to welcome the pleasures of each experience.
She feels the blessing of your awakening as her very own.

Faith knows your desires, your soul’s worth and your unique place in this life.
She stands behind you on the solid rock of motivation and determination.

Faith loves you. She needs only the beautiful blossom of your existence.
She holds you in high regard and reveres the honor of your life.

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Hi Mom, How are you?

Published March 6, 2015 by Tammy

I ask my mother this almost every day.  The answers vary from time to time and mostly I just wait for my turn to talk and launch into the newest “guess what happened this time”. One day not long ago, I heard what I’ve had the chance to hear for years, but i guess I wasn’t ready.

“Hi Mom how are you?”

” I haven’t decided yet.”

This particular day I heard it.  The message was undeniable now that i was ready.  Once heard you can never unring a bell.

We get to decide every single day how we are. Not the bothersome negative emotional vampires of our lives. Not the worries of the day’s events, or the ghosts of our past. Us. We get to decide how we are. We don’t have to leave it to chance or happenstance. We decide.

I’ve pondered this for a while and have come to the conclusion that I may not have had the sense to listen to my mother about everything  but this one I heard.

Publishers don’t get to decide if I am a writer or not. I am a writer. They only get to decide if they will be my business partners or not. Still, I decide I am a writer.

Doctors don’t get to decide if I am well or not. They can read charts, X-rays and reports. I decide I am well and healthy. I feel great.

Buyers decide whether or not to buy my work, they don’t decide if I am an artist of not.  The only decision I have is if I will honor the artist I am.  I am an artist.

My birth certificate doesn’t decide how I should feel inside or out. If I had no idea how old my birth certificate is, how old would I feel?  I am young at heart  with an old soul.  I don’t want to rewind or move ahead. My age? I am right now.

My acquisitions don’t decide my worth nor does my income or my bank balance. I am of undeterminable value.

You don’t get to decide if I am worth your time. You only get to choose whether to spend the one and only thing you can never replace, time. with me or not. I am worth your time.

So the next time I am asked, How are you, I will continue to speak my truth. I am perfect.  And you are too.

Wallflower

Published November 19, 2014 by Tammy

Standing in the crowded gymnasium watching guys go boldly forth and pluck a girl from the group and proceed to dance the light fan dangle in the semi darkness of this cave. Never did he do as his buddies and venture forth into that wilderness of teen hood. For he knew they always looked at him as one of the kids with no father ; just a mother and less than those with both. So just stood with his back to the wall and watched at they did their ritualistic parts of boy ; girl testing the so called waters of chance and maybe future mate fo school hierarchy status.

Though he saw a few who he thought maybe he could ask ; The not too silent whispers always crept into the corridors of his mind and reminded him in no uncertain terms as to who he was and his status among them. So he always used the same old excuse to his best friend that he just couldn’t seem to find one that caught his eye.

Thankfully for him the Army called and he left school behind and very quickly grew and matured ; though the whispers from that time never ceased .
Then a young lady appeared in his life and put her brand on him without him ever making a move. He had been content with his life as it was but thought why not give it a try. Time passed and they decided to marry and they did just as orders came down sending most of his platoon and company to Vietnam.
3 months into the tour he got a Dear John letter stating she only married him out of pity. So he was back to being single again and swore off all women so as to avoid any further distractions or pain. And the whispers became voices saying we told you that you weren’t of a good caliber stock.
But as fate ; karma or whatever it’s called look upon him and said he’s going to the dark side of life called isolation and needs a woman who has the missing parts to his soul.

And thus on that fateful night in August 1971 he meet she who would nurse his nightmares ; love his good side and teach understanding to his dark side which he learned and developed into a survival manifesto accorded his time running the jungle in The Nam.
Unbeknownst to him the forces put not just a woman into his life but a partner of strict mind and rules sometimes foriegn to him. Yet she wasn’t just any woman they sent to him.
For they sent a wife; partner; mind nurse ; And above all they combined this with Goddess status to ensure she had all the strength ;and wisdom needed to ensure success.

So in the end he’s still a wallflower but he has a gardener to replenish his soil ; roots ; water him when needed and always raining sunshine into his soul.
No amount of repayment to the Goddess will ever be enough for her labor nor her love . Many a man has a wife or lover ; but how many can stand atop the mountain as he and proclaim that they have an actual Goddess as a soul partner ?

As for those whispers ; She put them in a back mind corridor and forbade them from the light of day eternal. Such is her way.

Conversations with The Chosen Father; Goals through his vision

Published November 19, 2014 by Tammy

Goals in my world are thoughts written on paper or in one’s mind. They aren’t set in concrete . They are fluid like water and their ebb and flow will change accordingly to the way in which everyday of your life opens up. To set goals to be achieved in concrete or non flexibility only leaves one open to failure in the long run. For you’re guided by rigid standards and rules. Paper can be discarded or re-written. The mind can change it’s direction. One must be as the wind and able to change direction as needed to achieve moving forward. Or as the water’s tide ; Incoming to new ways to get to where you desire ; Or the out going tide to change course so that you may yet still endeavor to get to a point that you say to yourself I’ve gotten the majority of that which I sought for the moment and now I’ll lay course to see if I may achieve even more. 99.9% of humans never achieve 100% of their goals and believe themselves failures. If only they understood that what simple things that brought them happiness was when they were at 100% . Not when they chased goals set forth by mankind or others.
August 31 at 8:06pm ·

Depression through an Eagle’s Lens

Published November 2, 2014 by Tammy

Before Mr. Williams crossing I believed that depression could possibly stem from not using our creative gifts. Mr. Williams was wildly creative causing pause in my theory. After his departure I asked  Father Eagle  to discus the issue. Here is his contribution to yet another of our many conversations. I found particular interest in his sentence i have highlighted.  As usual, talks with Father Eagle don’t illicit agreement as much as they do require contemplation. I feel depression in it’s truest form is the most unfair of diseases.  Like the proverbial thief in the night, stealing what is in us and leaving behind an enormous wake of wreckage. The biggest and most charming of time thieves, depression instills a false hope of tomorrow. Tomorrow is left standing at the alter in the mist of despair, while hope looks on quietly, patronizingly shaking her head. Hope knows we should’ve chosen Faith and gotten along with the business of today.  Hope is happy to know she’ll have visitor again tomorrow. Faith quietly waits to be called to the alter, eager to cast away the mist and reveal our inner strength and show us that we all have the power if we could just believe in ourselves.

What are your thoughts on the matter of depression?

Depression is a battle between the forces of light and darkness on this plane or realm. Many acclaim it’s a medical condition. In reality it’s the battle between the forces of the inner mind. ( LIGHT & DARK ) We all deal with them in one extent or the other. If early on one lets the voices of the dark side gain control they will under mind you ability too see the light.They promote how unworthy ; useless ; uncaring you are and how those with you or those gone on to the next level are better than you and you’re not worthy of being here on this plane any longer. I battled the force and gained control of it and only use my dark side when needed. Now this is a narrow path of control and one must learn to harness the power or it will consume you. If the dark inner mind can convince one of it’s power it will consume your energy and your ability to fight back will be for naught. Many times it uses the loss of others; childhood memories and world events to eat away at you and weaken your resolve.Many strive yet few survive because we have forgotten that though we are many. We are yet individuals fighting for our very existence. Depression is just that ; being depressed. one must find the cold courage to reach into the darkness and pull out the madness that hides with-in. Only then is survival a possibility. I know this is long winded ; but I hope it helps in some minor way.

Eagle
8-12- 2014

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“all this is already within you” Conversations with My Chosen Father

Published November 2, 2014 by Tammy

All this is already with in you if you have the courage to explore your inner self. Just as Dorothy always had the power to go home in Wizard of Oz ; You also have all the tools you need to conquer and heal each link. Look not from the inside outward ; but from the outside in and you shall find all things possible to that which you have the strength & courage to change.
August 23 at 4:14pm ·

Conversations With My Chosen Father

Published October 27, 2014 by Tammy

With utmost humility and probable ignorance I must admit to not knowing namaste. Though born into the world of humans or humanity if you choose I feel no real attachment to the mass called mankind.
I’ve been raised and taught the ways of their emotions and how one should live to gain a good and useful life. I know with in myself that goodness and freedom of thought are 2 of the strongest weapons of survival on this realm. Early teachings in this life have shown unto me that the path apart from all others of mankind is the only true path and on this path shall it be shown to one the wisdom of the earth and universe as it was and is intended to be shown.
Though I am not a philosopher or shaman to my knowledge I only know that which my soul; essence or being leads me to in my quest for understanding of my state of being here on earth at this time. What may be clear as a sunny day to me in my thinking may be a very cloudy and dark day of thoughts for many others and so be it. for I can only see ; travel and learn from my own journey and travails.
I seek not comfort nor safety from others as I am unto myself my own comfort and safety with in my reality.
Over my many years on this plane I’ve come to solely rely on my own powers to live and no one else’s. Though I enjoy the contacts that I’ve made of my own choosing and those people know who they are for they have in my mind’s eye have chosen me also. And it’s these people whom I can say honestly that they have in many ways taught me the meaning of love and understanding even if they do think me strange at times.
Someday I may find the name or meaning of me ; but until then I’ll just keep on keeping on.

The Eagle